


hisses and dreams

by bubblylikesparklingcider



Series: bruises and wounds of the soul [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Harry can still speak it, Harry has PTSD, M/M, PTSD, Parseltongue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-19 23:24:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5984263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblylikesparklingcider/pseuds/bubblylikesparklingcider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry tries desperately not to relive the events of the Battle. He never thought Parseltongue would help him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hisses and dreams

It's two in the morning. Harry knows this. He also knows that if anyone finds him awake it'll be the grounds for an argument.

Which he thinks is stupid.

He doesn't have to sleep if he doesn't want to. (But he wants to, even if he doesn't.) He shouldn't have to subject himself to the nightmares. Voldemort. Cedric. Bellatrix. Aunt Petunia. Voldemort. Always Voldemort, no matter what. Green light. Screams. Death Eaters.

He wishes he had some Dreamless Sleep, to make the nightmares stop. (Except it's addicting and no one will let him near it.)

He stares into the cold fireplace, because the alternative is closing his eyes and he sees things when he does.

Voldemort. Green light. Sirius.

It's been seven months since the Battle. Seven fucking months, and it's only hitting Harry now. Everything is hitting Harry now. Every damn thing. He wants to fly away, to go someplace where people don't know him, but Sirius is here. He can't leave.

(Maybe it's also Ginny, too.)

If he's being honest, Harry can still feel the dust from the Battle in his throat. He can still feel the cold darkness of the Dementors, he can still remember the Basilisk and it fucking hurts.

He can still speak Parseltongue. Everyone thinks he can't, but sometimes when they're in Diagon Alley, Harry sneaks off to the Reptilium (a rather new addition) and listens to the snakes conversing in their tanks.

He used to hate it, but now he almost loves it. It's something there, something he can hold onto.

He's the Boy Who Lived and yet he feels so dead inside.

"Harry?" It's Remus. Harry curses, because Remus will surely tell Sirius that he's awake and then Sirius will worry. Sirius shouldn't worry. He's already worried enough with what Harry told him over summer hols about the Dursleys.

"Remus. I was just..." Harry trails off because, really, there's no good excuse.

"Couldn't sleep?" Remus asks and sits down beside Harry. Harry nods. "Me neither."

They sit in silence for a few moments, silence that Harry is glad for. Remus finally pulls out his wand and murmurs, "Incendio." The fire crackles to life.

"What's wrong?" The werewolf asks. Harry shrugs noncommittally. "Harry."

"It's nothing." Harry says and Remus gives him a look. "Just nightmares."

"Ah." Remus responds. "That makes sense."

"Yeah." Harry says and there's silence again. The heat from the fireplace makes him sleepy, and he shakes his head to clear out the cottony feeling. He can't fall asleep. Not now.

"Sleep, Harry." Remus advises.

"I can't." Harry insists, voice hoarse. "I can't have those nightmares."

"Didn't your Mind Healer give you any tactics to combat them?" Remus asks and Harry thinks back to his meetings with the Mind Healer.

"We never- it never came up." Harry admits. "They're kind of new."

Remus doesn't answer this. Harry leans his head back unthinkingly, his eyes fluttering shut. He can hear a hissing in the back of his head and he tries to push it away but he's sinking further into sleep.

 _"Kill the spare."_ Harry hears it in Parseltongue and he answers.

 _"No. No, leave him alone."_ Voldemort comes into view, his face ugly and Cedric lies dead on the ground. _"No. Cedric!"_

Harry can see himself. He always has these dreams out of body.

_"No!"_

"Harry! Harry, it's okay! You're safe!" Harry jolts awake, staring up at Remus who is looking down at him with concerned green eyes.

"Merlin." Harry says and Remus helps him up.

"Are you okay?" Remus asks him and Harry nods.

"Yeah. I'm...I'm fine."

"I thought you couldn't speak Parseltongue anymore?" Remus asks and Harry freezes. Oh. Shit.

/----/----/----/

Harry can hear Remus and Sirius whispering in the kitchen about him. He leans his head against the window and sighs. He wants to know what they're saying but he doesn't at the same time.

He pulls an Extendable Ear out of his drawer anyway.

"-just a child, Sirius, this is normal." Remus says. Harry can hear the sound of something being slammed down.

"Why wouldn't he come to us?" Sirius growls.

"Because he was probably afraid!" Remus responds. "We need to help him adjust back to normal life, Sirius. He's spent seven years of his life trying to stop You-Know-Who and then he finally kills him, but not before he suffered a fair amount."

"I know." Sirius says softly. "I should've seen this coming. With his childhood and everything...Merlin. How is he not majorly fucked up?"

Harry stops using the Extendable Ear then and instead goes back to staring out the window.

He is majorly fucked up. He can't sleep without having nightmares, he still understands and can speak to snakes, he still wakes up wondering what he's going to have to do to stop Voldemort this time.

He hates it. He'd give anything for it to be over.

Remus appears in the doorway.

"Harry?" He asks and Harry's head snaps up. "Sirius wants to talk."

/----/----/----/

They come to an agreement. Harry can't go to see a Mind Healer with school coming up, but he needs to talk to someone if he's having a nightmare. ("Even if it's Ron and Hermione." Sirius had said. "You need to start talking, Harry.")

Harry thinks it's fair. He knows they're trying to do the best they can for him and he's grateful for it.

"Let's go to Diagon Alley." Sirius says suddenly as they sit around the table and Remus looks at him strangely. "Come on, Rem, Harry goes back to school in a week or so. We should all spend some quality time together."

So they go to Diagon Alley.

/----/----/----/

Harry goes off to the Reptilium while Sirius and Remus drink Butterbeer in The Leaky Cauldron.

It's peaceful in the Reptilium, no sound except the hissing of serpents and Harry is grateful for it. No one is behind the front desk, so he leans down in front of the tank of a glistening black snake and hisses at it.

 _"Hello."_ Is all he says and the snake sits up straight.

 _"Hello."_ It responds and suddenly Harry hears a voice behind him.

"His name's Sebastian." And Harry turns around to see Luna Lovegood, who has little wolf earrings dangling from her ears. "Hi, Harry."

"Luna!" Harry exclaims and hugs her. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"I know the owner." Luna says, nodding. "Sometimes when Father and I are here, I come to see him and the snakes. Sebastian is quite nice, though of course I can't understand him like you can."

"You heard me?" Harry's heart sinks as Luna nods again.

"It sounds funny." Luna says with a smile. "We all thought you couldn't speak it anymore, but it's strange how sometimes we discover that what we thought was true isn't really true."

Harry laughs. He loves Luna, not in the way he loves Ginny, but in the way he loves Hermione. He wouldn't mind having Luna for a sister.

"I'll let you get back to your conversation with Sebastian, then." Luna says solemnly and Harry thanks her and gives her another hug.

 _"Is she your friend, that blonde girl?"_ Sebastian hisses when Harry turns back to him.

 _"Yes. She is a very good friend."_ Harry responds.

 _"I could not understand what you were saying, but she seems very nice. She does not have the tone of someone who thinks we are mere creatures."_ Sebastian says and Harry thinks back to the Crumple Horned Snorkack and the Wrackspurts.

 _"No. Luna loves everyone, no matter who they are."_ Harry says. _"She is very accepting."_

 _"You are quite interesting, human boy."_ Sebastian says. _"Though I wouldn't like you to buy me."_

 _"Thank you. Don't worry, I don't think I will be buying a snake anytime soon."_ Harry says and thinks of Nagini. Sebastian turns away.

"Are you going to buy him?" Luna asks when Harry turns around. Harry shakes his head.

"No." He says. "I don't think Sirius and Remus would be too happy to have a snake in the house."

"Sebastian doesn't seem like the snake for you, anyway." Luna says. "He prefers a quiet life."

The bell above the door jangles and Sirius and Remus walk in together.

"Having a good time, Harry?" Sirius asks breezily but Harry can see the tension in his shoulders.

"Yeah." Harry nods. "Um, I guess I'll see you around, Luna?"

"Hang on." Remus holds up a hand. "Don't you need a familiar to replace Hedwig, Harry?"

"Um, yeah, but it's fine." Harry says. He doesn't want another owl. Hedwig was the only owl for him.

"I'm sure you don't want another owl, though." Remus says as if Harry hadn't spoken. Harry just nods dazedly and Luna claps her hands together.

"Oh, Harry, I know the perfect snake for you!" She says and leads Harry over to a tank where a shimmering fiery colored snake sits coiled up on a rock. The snake opens one green eye and Luna nudges Harry. "Go on."

"What, now?" Harry asks and Luna nods delightedly as the owner of the store comes out of the back, an elderly man with white hair and a smile on his face. "Luna, I'm not sure."

"Come on, Mr. Potter!" The owner exclaims. "No one will judge you! In fact, I've always wanted to hear someone speak Parseltongue."

Harry turns to look at Remus and Sirius, who motion that they're okay with it. Harry leans down in front of the tank.

 _"Hello."_ He hisses and the snake sits up and stares at him.

 _"You can speak the language!"_ He says happily.

_"Yes, I can. I'm Harry. Who are you?"_

_"I'm Asmodeus."_ The snake responds, swaying back and forth excitedly. _"You seem fun."_

 _"You're beautiful."_ Harry says because one thing he learned from Voldemort is that snakes seem to like to be flattered.

 _"Thank you."_ Asmodeus says and Harry has the distinct feeling that if Asmodeus was a bird, he would've preened. _"Are you going to buy me? I'd like it if you did."_

 _"I might. It's up to my godfather and his boyfriend."_ Harry says and Asmodeus hisses impatiently.

 _"Ask them!"_ He urges and Harry straightens up.

"Well?" Luna asks and Harry smiles.

"His name's Asmodeus. He seems to like me." Harry says.

"Would you like to buy him? As your new familiar?" Sirius asks gently and Harry hesitates. "I'll buy him for you, Harry. I don't- I don't know what your still being able to speak Parseltongue means, but I'm...I'm okay with it."

Harry hugs him gratefully, because it may not mean that everything's okay, but it means they're getting there.

"I'd love to have Asmodeus as a familiar." Harry says.

/----/----/----/

Harry sits with Asmodeus curled around his arm that night as he finishes up his Charms essay.

 _"There."_ He hisses and Asmodeus looks up at him.

 _"Are you finally done? Humans are so strange!"_ Harry laughs then and puts aside the parchment.

 _"Do you want to go in your tank tonight?"_ He asks Asmodeus.

 _"Do you want me to?"_ Asmodeus asks.

 _"I have nightmares a lot. I don't want to hurt you if you're in bed with me."_ Harry says and Asmodeus looks at him piercingly.

 _"I'll go in my tank, but I can tell you a story. Sebastian was always telling stories."_ Asmodeus says. _"But I don't know if you'd like them...they're all about you."_

 _"Oh?"_ Harry says as he places Asmodeus in the tank.

 _"Yes. Stories about how you vanquished a dragon when you were just a young boy, not even a Hogwarts student yet."_ Asmodeus says and Harry laughs again.

 _"I think- I think I'd like to hear these stories."_ He says and crawls into bed. Asmodeus begins hissing out the story.

Harry sleeps well that night, because in his dream he's killing a dragon and Sirius and Cedric and Remus and Ginny and Ron and Hermione are all smiling at him widely and cheering him on.

/----/----/----/

The next morning, Harry heads down to breakfast with Asmodeus curled around his arm again. Sirius is already sitting at the table, drinking tea and reading The Daily Prophet.

"Morning, Harry." Sirius says as Harry sits down.

"Morning." He says.

"Did you sleep well?" Sirius asks and it sounds casual, but Harry can hear the worry behind it.

"Yeah, I did actually. Asmodeus told me a story and I didn't have any nightmares." Sirius looks up at that.

"Good." He says, his eyes wet. "Good."

/----/----/----/

Harry heads off to school within a week and his friends smile and are happy to meet Asmodeus and Luna brings along a treat for the fiery snake and Ginny gives Harry a welcoming kiss.

The other students all ohh and ahh over Harry's new familiar and Draco Malfoy asks him how his Christmas was.

Harry says it was great and asks how Draco's was in return, because Draco's trying. Harry's trying to.

He looks around at everyone and sees haunted faces, but healing faces, and he understands that they're all trying. And they're going to get better.

They're all going to be okay.


End file.
